Isaiah Rashad sat down with Joe Budden for an exclusive interview after a leaked sex tape outted him as gay earlier this year. He opened up for the first time to Budden about having suicidal thoughts, the pressure from his family and peers, and the impact that the scandal would have on his kids.
Isaiah Rashad joined Joe Budden for an exclusive interview about being outted as gay earlier this year.
Rashad addressed mental health and his battle with suicide. He also reflected on the moment he felt he had failed his family and peers, and his concern on the impact that the scandal would have on his kids.
Rashad addressed the negative impact left behind by the responses of the public saying that there was a lot of positive support but that there was equally toxicity and disrespectful comments from those “calling me out my name.” The Tennessee rapper said he was surprised to have supporters of the LGBTQ+ community, but the negative comments greatly affected him.
“Because I know other people wouldn’t understand and everybody doesn’t think like me, that doesn’t guard me from not being sensitive to their comments”.
Rashad took a spiral down a dark path following the incident, drinking and wrecking two of his cars after a suicidal attempt on his life. He admitted to Budden that he felt responsible for all of the people in his life that were counting on him.
“I felt kind of responsible for my peers and my friends because of their association and being affected by me”.
Rashad was remorseful as he discussed the impact the video could have on his kids, letting down his TDE family and peers.
“I felt responsible for the label, for my family, for them having to explain stuff on my behalf, it made me feel like I had fucked up…and knowing that this is people’s livelihoods outside of my own”.
Rashad struggled to find the words to describe what it felt like to lose self worth and acknowledges often feeling alone in a room of people.
“I go through these highs and lows from feeling like invincible, to feeling the worst,” he told Budden in the intimate conversation.
The car accidents mentioned above weren’t the only times the “Headshots” rapper attempted to harm himself. He discusses self inflicted cut marks from his youth, that are now covered with tattoos, and avoiding high rise buildings to prevent suicidal attempts.
Surviving his last two suicide attempts put life into perspective for the rapper, reminding him that he is here for a reason. “If anything I started tapping into, I guess I have a reason to be here and leaning on that”.
Isaiah says he believes in using his experiences to save others and will use music to further heal listeners. He offers this advice to those who are struggling: “If you’re going through, especially what I’m going through, make sure you find people who you can talk to”.
The TDE artist says he is using this situation to grow in his own personal life and will be more transparent with his audience.
The music community sent their love to Isaiah Rashad after the devastating incident when a sex tape featuring the rapper was leaked online without his consent, subsequently outing him as homosexual before family, fans and the world.
President of Top Dawg Entertainment Punch even clapped back at a Twitter user that seemed to be a little too concerned with the sex life of the southern rapper.